I was due to have an appointment at home with my CPN on Wed (today is now Friday) at 4pm. This appointment had been rearranged following her mix up with an appointment a couple of weeks ago where she was expecting to see me on a certain day but had muddled up the appointment times. She had emailed me to query my non attendance – I was expecting to see her a couple of days later but she didn’t turn up for the appointment. It turns out she was on a course and hadn’t got my email.
So she then arranged to see me on Wed (2 days ago) at 4pm but at lunchtime I got an email from her to say that due to unforeseen circumstances she had to leave work early and so she had to cancel the appointment and would contact me the next day (yesterday) to re-arrange. I was annoyed but didn’t over react and sent her a polite email saying that in view of the fact that I have an appointment with the Occupational Therapy Support Worker (new referral) next week, have seen my GP this week, am having CAT fortnightly and attending Support Group 2 days per week at the moment, I don’t really need to see her and so I will keep her informed of the progress of my ESA appeal and will contact her if I feel I need to see her.
However, this morning I have just received an email from her saying that she is coming to see me this afternoon after 1pm. I’m cross about it because :
- She knows I struggle with plans changing at the last minute
- She knows that I normally go to my Support Group on Fridays (actually I am not going today as they are all going out for a pub lunch and I didn’t want to go) and so wouldn’t be able to go if she is visiting me at home
- She either hasn’t read my email properly or has ignored its contents – I thought I had made it clear that I didn’t want or need to see her at the moment
- She will want to discuss whether or not she remains my Care Co-ordinator and I really don’t want to do that this afternoon as I will be left to spend the whole weekend on my own with whatever is said during the appointment going round and round in my head.
- I know that because of all the messing around with the appointments recently, I will be a bit angry and likely to be “challenging” – it would be better for her if she waited until I have got over it a bit
I am now definitely convinced that I do want to change CPN but I just don’t want to do it until I hear about my ESA appeal as if I need to go to a Tribunal, it would be much better to have evidence from a CPN who has known me for 6 years and (at least in theory) understands my problems.
So I don’t know what to do – whether to email back and be assertive and say “No I don’t want to see you today” or whether to lie and say that I won’t be in, or whether to just accept an appointment. She hasn’t specified an exact time, she has just said “after 1pm” which means that I will have to stay home all afternoon waiting for her. I had planned to get out for a decent walk with the dog today as part of my new “get fit, get un-fat” regime – I took him out for a good 3 mile walk yesterday and was going to go for another longer walk today.
Grrrrr. This has triggered a mood swing and I am now feeling angry and resentful. Half an hour ago I was feeling relaxed and enthusiastic about getting some housework done and then getting out with the dog this afternoon.
