I’m really really tired this morning although mentally quite alert. I’ve had a decent lie in, waking up about 9.45 am, and I’m here trying to organise my thoughts about what to do today.
I went out yesterday to a service users meeting, leaving home about 9.30am, and didn’t get home till 8pm. That’s why I’m so tired today. The meeting was from 11 – 3.30pm but I had offered to stop off at the supermarket and pick up some food for lunch so I had to leave earlier than normal. And then, as always the meeting over-ran and it was after 5pm by the time I left the office.
Being quite close to Asda, I decided to have a trip to Asda after the meeting, partly for food shopping, but also to buy some new clothes to suit my expanded waistline and backside (Asda is cheap and I also think their sizes are on the large side so I can get away with a size 12, instead of a size 14, which makes me feel a little bit better).
It didn’t occur to me that hitting Asda at teatime on a Friday night might not be such a good idea as the place was packed but I spent some considerable time mooching round their clothes department, eventually going for a couple of pairs of leggings and an elasticated mini skirt to wear over them, several pairs of opaque tights to hide my horrific legs, and on a whim, a pair of reduced price (£6) flat ankle boots and a pair of half price flat Mary Jane style lovely silver beaded party shoes. I’m not sure if / when I will ever wear the shoes but for £5, they can stay in my wardrobe and be admired regularly and I live in hope that perhaps one day I will be invited to a party or similar occasion when I can wear them. Being small I know that I should really wear heels, but I have never been a heels woman, living in flat shoes and comfortable Doc Marten style boots and trainers. So just to buy a pretty pair of party shoes is quite a rare thing for me.
Then after having checked out the Asda clothes, I had to do my usual shopping thing and walk up and down every single aisle, scanning everything “just in case” I needed anything. That’s why a supermarket trip always takes so long. Despite having a shopping list, I still have to do this, just in case there is anything I have forgotten to put on my list.
So it was 7.30pm by the time I was at the checkout and after 8pm by the time I got home, cold and tired. And then I had to light the stove and put the shopping away, and catch up on a whole day’s worth of emails, with stuff from the meeting going round and round in my head.
It was quite a challenging meeting yesterday as there are some strong personalities involved and I found myself in an awkward situation whereby I agreed with some of the things that one person was saying but I didn’t like the way they were saying it, and so I kept quiet as I didn’t want to appear as if I was taking sides. The usual minute-taker was away and so I took the minutes and although I wasn’t Chair, I had to be quite assertive about timings and sticking to the agenda.
Strangely, despite my nerves and anxiety at the service users’ meeting last Tuesday, I felt quite confident and relaxed at yesterday’s meeting, probably because we were only a small group of 7, and I knew and felt comfortable with everyone there. And so my confidence and self-assurance rose during the course of the meeting, and I came away feeling quite good about myself, despite the tiredness and mental weariness after about 5 hours of discussing some high level strategic issues. I’m not going to go into details about the meeting and what we discussed as it could probably identify me.
So time for another coffee and cig now whilst I draw up a “Things To Do Today” list….
Here’s today’s “Things To Do” list:
- washing (one load already in, another load to do)√
- washing up (I actually cooked a meal on Thurs eve but haven’t washed up since)√
- clean and tidy kitchen√
- mop kitchen floor
- tidy bedroom√
- get dressed√
- take recycling to recycling centre (this involves driving)
- update finances (have spent quite alot this week on new clothes so need to know what the damage is)√
- take dog for a decent walk
- cook an evening meal√
- go through the pile of paperwork on my desk and do anything which needs doing√
- plant seed potatoes in pots in greenhouse
Plus there is something on ebay which I want to bid for which ends at 12.55pm (another pair of shoes! omg – more shoes, when am I going to wear them all!) – I’ve set the alarm on my mobile to remind me just before the auction ends, so that I don’t get so involved in doing things on my To Do list that I forget to bid.
It’s a lovely sunshiny day today, proper spring-like, which is a pleasant change after having had almost a full week of wind and rain. So my washing can go out on the line to dry – the first time this year I think and my clean sheets will have that lovely fresh outside smell on them (note to self : add “change bedlinen” to “Things To Do” list). I’m still sitting here in pj’s, wasting time and the morning is nearly over. I’m waiting for the postman to come as I’m hoping he will bring me a parcel.
I’ve ordered this online and am looking forward to trying it out. It will force me to lie still and do nothing for a while – something I struggle to do, as I see relaxation as being of lesser priority than the things on my “To Do” list. However, I am planning to listen to some self-help relaxation podcasts so I can use this at the same time. I really need to set aside 15 mins each day to do some mindful relaxation but in order to do this and to stick to it so that it becomes a routine habit, I need to learn and accept that doing this is as important, if not more important than anything on my To Do list. And that’s the really hard thing.
That’s it for now – time to make a start on the kitchen…
3.30pm
I’ve ticked some of the things off my To Do list, and have decided to sit down for the next couple of hours with my knitting and watch Harry Potter 2 on telly. I’ll take the dog out after it’s finished. The weather forecast for tomorrow is dry so I can do my recycling tomorrow. I’ve planned my evening meal – pizza and salad with banana yoghurt. So no real prep to do and I can do it after walking the dog.
Slight change of plan – I’ll do my finances whilst watching Harry Potter, then that’s another thing done and I can relax and knit for the rest of the film.
